It's a girl!! Hope Abigail, 6 lbs. 7 oz., 18 inches, born April 3 @ 4:13 AM. She's so precious....and 3 weeks and 2 days "early" - our little "surprise"! Here's her story... (What follows is a BIRTH story, with all the accompanying details, so consider yourself forewarned.....)
On Saturday afternoon I had a baby shower, hosted by the ladies at our church. It was a beautiful baby shower, my favorite part being the prayers and words of blessing that were spoken over me. When one of the ladies asked if there was something specific I wanted to ask God for concerning this birth, I told her about my previous long labors and how I would just like for God to give me a short labor this time. If you remember, I also mentioned wanting to make a pink blanket for this baby, in case it was a girl, since I already had a blue blanket made, and I really wanted this baby to have something made just for him/her. Well, things got busy and I was never able to make that blanket, but a dear friend made a blanket for me, not knowing my heart's desire. It was so wonderful to see how God cared about such details in my life!
I had taken a nap every day for the past 2-3 weeks because I remembered how exhausted I'd felt when each of my other labors started. Saturday, however, was such a busy day, with the baby shower, then church, that I didn't get to take that nap. I should've seen the signs. :)
During church I was feeling contractions pretty regularly. I even remember thinking, "I'm having lots of contractions tonight.", but I didn't say anything to my husband, because I've done this for weeks before a birth in the past, so I knew it didn't mean anything. And they weren't strong contractions. We went out to dinner afterward, and still, the contractions continued. I commented to the friends we were with that I was probably just tired, and my friend, a mother of many children, suggested I drink lots of water and get some rest. Sounded good to me.
On the drive home, the contractions were getting uncomfortable. I remember telling my husband that I was SO ready to get out of that car! I drank some water and immediately took a hot bath, trying to get contractions to go away. They still didn't. I tried laying down, but the contractions were only getting stronger. I was having to breathe through them and wanted Jeremy's hand. I think I was still a little in denial that labor was starting, and Jeremy definitely was, since I was not even 37 weeks along. During one contraction, as I was breathing through, I said, "ah!", like something hurt suddenly, and then next contraction, I felt a gush. Water broke...this is really happening, I thought. When I got to the bathroom, I saw blood. "There's blood, call Ann!" I said, and I began to get concerned. Once on the phone, Ann asked if the baby was moving. I think that was the longest moment of my life as I poked this baby and tried to get her to move. I almost don't notice her movements much because I'm so used to them, so I really had to concentrate. Finally, I could answer, "yes." She seemed to feel that my water had broken, and that everything was OK based on the answers I gave. I told her I wasn't ready for her to come, yet, so Jeremy and I labored together for a while more. I wasn't able to take a bath for relaxation until labor really picked up, so I just picked various positions that felt comfortable.
At one point, I asked Jeremy to turn on some music. He put on a lullaby worship CD that I'd played for Hope almost everyday the last few weeks, trying to get her to turn head down. The first song that came on was "I Can Only Imagine." I just began to weep - so much that I could hardly breathe. Jeremy walked in and said, "Are you OK?" I told him that I don't think I've ever felt the presence of God more than I did right then. He said, "Stop. You're going to make me cry, too." It also made me think back to a Scripture one of the ladies read to me at the shower, about how Jesus was with God at creation and they were pleased with what they were creating. How God is pleased when another baby comes into the world. I began thinking of how this baby would get to be with us forever with Him, if we teach her to love Him. I seemed to be more at peace with the fact that I was in labor, however uncomfortable and unprepared for it I was at the moment! I was starting to moan through contractions, a sign that things were picking up. We called to ask if getting into the tub would be OK at this point, and she said it was. I was so relieved! I had reserved a birth pool, which wasn't to be picked up until 38 weeks, but I knew they would bring it over for me if I requested it, but I felt like there wasn't time. At my previous birth, labor was in full swing when we called the midwives, and once they came, labor stopped. I was so afraid of that happening, that I wanted to REALLY wait before having them come over. I didn't want to have that "watched pot" feeling.
So I labored a little longer, and I remember somewhere in there saying, "I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm so tired. Please call Ann, I need some encouragement." Ann later told me that Jeremy called and said, "We can't do this anymore" and then she was on her way. I knew that this usually means a woman is in transition, but again, because I felt like this during Faith's birth before I called, and then labored another whole DAY before she was born, I still was in denial about how far I really was. I remember feeling the urge to push a few times in the bathtub, but again, feeling that for hours with Faith, I still was worried I had a long way to go yet. I was ready for Ann to get there, but not because I was concerned the baby was about to be born, but because I needed that encouragement to keep going! I got out of the bath (where I'm usually the most comfortable) and onto the toilet (where I usually do NOT want to be because it makes contractions SO intense). The next contraction, I could not hold back, I HAD to push! Ann walked in just then and said she wanted to check me, to see if I was complete. I didn't know if I was or not, I was just doing what my body was forcing me to do.
I did not want to move from where I was, but I agreed to get on the bed, and asked if hands & knees was OK. I don't remember what she said, I just knew I'd better get there fast before the next contraction, and that I did NOT want to be on my back! The next contraction was completely overwhelming, totally intense, and I did NOT want anyone touching me. All I could do was push with all I had (it hurt NOT to push!), and I couldn't remember why Ann had her fingers on my cervix. I just remember begging her to stop - it had not occurred to me that I perhaps wasn't already dilated and maybe shouldn't be pushing - I just knew that I wanted it to stop! I was so overwhelmed, I felt like I couldn't breathe, but then Ann reminded me to take deep breaths for my baby. It's amazing the things I can forget to do while in labor - so glad she was there to remind me. I think there were only two more pushes after that before the baby's head was out. I just remember saying, "I just need a break", as the contractions just seemed to come right on top of each other and I couldn't get any relief. She said, "You're about to get a break here in just a moment as your baby is almost here." I didn't believe her, because I have had births where I pushed for hours, and people would keep saying, "I see the head!" On one push I remember feeling that burning, where typically, I'm supposed to stop pushing to allow my body to stretch. Ann is usually there coaching me as to what to do, and she didn't say anything, so I said, "Should I push or not?" I later found out that they weren't talking much because she was trying to get Michelle (the assistant) to throw her birth supplies frantically, since they could tell baby was almost here! Eventually she did tell me to keep pushing. Then she said, "Baby's head is out!" I believed her this time, because I could feel them moving her head around, trying to suction her out. They told me to stop so they could suction her. Very hard to do that! Then they told me to push, and with one good push, she was out! My first thought - and words - were "What relief!" Then, before I had a chance to even think about what just happened, Jeremy, I could tell through tears (remember, I can't see anything because I'm on my hands and knees still) said, "It's a girl!" I remember just crying and thanking God that my baby was here. They helped me get turned around and on my back so that I could hold that precious baby! I couldn't believe how tiny she was, and that she was a girl,and that she was actually here! A few minutes later the other midwife and assistant walked in happy to see the baby, but disappointed to have missed the birth. I found out later that I pushed for 11 minutes, about the same amount of time that they'd been there. It seemed like forever to me!
The only thing I was a little sad about was that, since I was on hands & knees, I didn't get to see her emerge, didn't get to catch her or see that she was a girl, and didn't get to see my husband's expression! But because her birth was so short, I was OK with all of this. It was only a few moments before I actually got to see her.
I was so thankful to God that He'd given me the short birth I'd prayed for, that my "preemie" was totally healthy,and that whatever caused the bleeding (subchorionic hematoma, slight placenta previa and subsequent slight placental abruption, or whatever it was) caused no harm to the baby. God is faithful! And sweet little Hope is truly a gift and a blessing!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Why I Chose a Home Birth - Part 2
Now that I've covered a lot of "Is it safe?" questions, I think now is a good time to talk about some of my favorite reasons....
Home births are so different...beautiful. I was not hooked up to any IVs, my midwife encouraged me to eat and drink. (She said when asking the hospital why they don't allow eating/drinking, they said that a woman MIGHT need a c-section, in which she MIGHT have to be put under general anesthesia, and then she MIGHT vomit, and MIGHT aspirate the vomit. A simple solution is just to turn the mom's head if she starts to vomit, something "icky" that they don't want to have to deal with. With that many "mights", I MIGHT should stop eating before I get into a car, for the same reasons...). I was allowed to move around and get into any position that was comfortable to me. I didn't have to leave my house. My midwife and/or her assistant were with me the whole labor and birth and afterwards, to make sure all was OK. And she wasn't just there...she was a blessed encouragement for me. She prayed for me, read Scriptures to me, addressed any fears I had, and cried with me when my baby was born. She's seen me at all my prenatal visits, and remembers all the details of all my births. She knows and loves my family. She thinks that birth is an amazing process created by God and feels privileged and excited to watch it happen everyday. I can call her at any moment with any questions I have, and she will pick up her cell phone and not sound rushed or irritated when I call. When I'm in labor, I can have the room dark if I want to, play music, light candles, be soothed by a warm bath and ice water on my face simultaneously. And the best part (I think, although it all seems to be the best part), when the baby starts to emerge, I can catch my own baby, or my husband can if he wants to, and no one shouts out whether it is a boy or girl - we get to find that out on our own. And that baby stays right there with me until I'm ready to hand him/her over. The cord isn't cut until it stops pulsating, so baby gets all the blood and oxygen he/she needs, so there is no rush for him/her to breathe. No one panics. Baby gets to nurse right away. Then baby and I get to take a nice herbal bath together to clean everyone up and raise baby's body temperature for the newborn exam. I get to snuggle with baby in the bath and look at all his/her little features - and I get to give baby his/her first bath! The newborn exam is done right on the bed, right next to me, and dad gets to dress baby in his/her first outfit. Why take a baby from his/her mom to do all these things? After all, I've just labored for however long, and like every other mom - I WANT MY BABY! There is no need to put baby under a warmer - mom's chest is the warmest place in the house!
All aspects of the birth are very peaceful. The midwives don't carry on loud conversations about random topics while I'm having a contraction - everyone gets quiet during a contraction and encourages me, then talks in low voices in between. There are no loud machines, just intermittent checks on baby's heart tones with a Doppler (continuous fetal monitoring has not been shown to improve birth outcomes, and often the machines incorrectly read the heart tones). Lots of counterpressure, massaging, hand holding - whatever I need, they are willing to do.
And if you think the midwives hold out for a home birth at all costs - you'd be mistaken. :) If there is a sign that baby or mom are not handling things well, or that intervention might be necessary, she is not afraid to transport, and has great relationships with her backup physicians. But this is only necessary in about 2% of the cases. A nurse in a hospital once told me, when she found out that I had a homebirth, that she gets to see ALL the ones that go wrong. And that's just the thing. She's only seeing the ones that required intervention - out of 100 births, she's seeing 2 - she isn't seeing the other 98 that were beautiful as I've described! My midwife prays for God's wisdom and discernment concerning these decisions - you just can't go wrong when God is leading you!
And again on safety: midwives carry with them all the first response equipment that the hospital would have, to stabilize mom or baby: like oxygen, neonatal resuscitation equipment, IV fluids, pitocin for stopping hemorraghing, suturing equipment, etc. But she says that most of the things expire before she actually needs them! Last we talked about this, she told me in 20 years she's only had to transport one baby!
Babies sometimes die. Situations come up that no one could prevent, not even a hospital. I heard of a lady whose baby had a rare form of dwarfism, whose lungs would not be able to expand properly to support life, and this was known even before the baby was born. But she still chose the home birth because there she could have a peaceful birth and be able to enjoy the few moments she would have with this baby. In our culture, death is often hard to accept. But as believers we understand that God has our days numbered, every life has a purpose, however short, and that God controls who lives and who dies.
So as not to end on a somber note, I'll say that we are all so thrilled to be welcoming this baby soon, and, the Lord willing, in our home once again! What a miracle it is to watch a child be born, and how humbling it is to see God giving us this precious gift to nurture and teach in His ways. Life is truly precious.
Home births are so different...beautiful. I was not hooked up to any IVs, my midwife encouraged me to eat and drink. (She said when asking the hospital why they don't allow eating/drinking, they said that a woman MIGHT need a c-section, in which she MIGHT have to be put under general anesthesia, and then she MIGHT vomit, and MIGHT aspirate the vomit. A simple solution is just to turn the mom's head if she starts to vomit, something "icky" that they don't want to have to deal with. With that many "mights", I MIGHT should stop eating before I get into a car, for the same reasons...). I was allowed to move around and get into any position that was comfortable to me. I didn't have to leave my house. My midwife and/or her assistant were with me the whole labor and birth and afterwards, to make sure all was OK. And she wasn't just there...she was a blessed encouragement for me. She prayed for me, read Scriptures to me, addressed any fears I had, and cried with me when my baby was born. She's seen me at all my prenatal visits, and remembers all the details of all my births. She knows and loves my family. She thinks that birth is an amazing process created by God and feels privileged and excited to watch it happen everyday. I can call her at any moment with any questions I have, and she will pick up her cell phone and not sound rushed or irritated when I call. When I'm in labor, I can have the room dark if I want to, play music, light candles, be soothed by a warm bath and ice water on my face simultaneously. And the best part (I think, although it all seems to be the best part), when the baby starts to emerge, I can catch my own baby, or my husband can if he wants to, and no one shouts out whether it is a boy or girl - we get to find that out on our own. And that baby stays right there with me until I'm ready to hand him/her over. The cord isn't cut until it stops pulsating, so baby gets all the blood and oxygen he/she needs, so there is no rush for him/her to breathe. No one panics. Baby gets to nurse right away. Then baby and I get to take a nice herbal bath together to clean everyone up and raise baby's body temperature for the newborn exam. I get to snuggle with baby in the bath and look at all his/her little features - and I get to give baby his/her first bath! The newborn exam is done right on the bed, right next to me, and dad gets to dress baby in his/her first outfit. Why take a baby from his/her mom to do all these things? After all, I've just labored for however long, and like every other mom - I WANT MY BABY! There is no need to put baby under a warmer - mom's chest is the warmest place in the house!
All aspects of the birth are very peaceful. The midwives don't carry on loud conversations about random topics while I'm having a contraction - everyone gets quiet during a contraction and encourages me, then talks in low voices in between. There are no loud machines, just intermittent checks on baby's heart tones with a Doppler (continuous fetal monitoring has not been shown to improve birth outcomes, and often the machines incorrectly read the heart tones). Lots of counterpressure, massaging, hand holding - whatever I need, they are willing to do.
And if you think the midwives hold out for a home birth at all costs - you'd be mistaken. :) If there is a sign that baby or mom are not handling things well, or that intervention might be necessary, she is not afraid to transport, and has great relationships with her backup physicians. But this is only necessary in about 2% of the cases. A nurse in a hospital once told me, when she found out that I had a homebirth, that she gets to see ALL the ones that go wrong. And that's just the thing. She's only seeing the ones that required intervention - out of 100 births, she's seeing 2 - she isn't seeing the other 98 that were beautiful as I've described! My midwife prays for God's wisdom and discernment concerning these decisions - you just can't go wrong when God is leading you!
And again on safety: midwives carry with them all the first response equipment that the hospital would have, to stabilize mom or baby: like oxygen, neonatal resuscitation equipment, IV fluids, pitocin for stopping hemorraghing, suturing equipment, etc. But she says that most of the things expire before she actually needs them! Last we talked about this, she told me in 20 years she's only had to transport one baby!
Babies sometimes die. Situations come up that no one could prevent, not even a hospital. I heard of a lady whose baby had a rare form of dwarfism, whose lungs would not be able to expand properly to support life, and this was known even before the baby was born. But she still chose the home birth because there she could have a peaceful birth and be able to enjoy the few moments she would have with this baby. In our culture, death is often hard to accept. But as believers we understand that God has our days numbered, every life has a purpose, however short, and that God controls who lives and who dies.
So as not to end on a somber note, I'll say that we are all so thrilled to be welcoming this baby soon, and, the Lord willing, in our home once again! What a miracle it is to watch a child be born, and how humbling it is to see God giving us this precious gift to nurture and teach in His ways. Life is truly precious.
Why I Chose a Home Birth
I get lots of comments from people when they find out I'm having a home birth with a midwife. Those who have done it before completely understand and are excited for me. Most often I hear that I'm "brave" or "crazy". LOL! I don't think I'm either, really. Like many things, a home birth isn't what it seems at first glance, mostly because of the things that have just become normal as a society, that we maybe don't stop to question. So here are my reasons. There are so many, I may only get to some of them, but it will at least help everyone to understand where I'm coming from. If you are a guy, this might be TMI - just a warning!
Is a home birth really safe? I think this is the question that is on the forefront of every couple's mind. Everyone wants to make sure that their baby will be safe! The short answer is "Yes! A homebirth is safe!" Statistically a home birth is as safe or safer than a hospital birth, for healthy, low risk women. When I was interviewing my midwife years ago, and asking her a billion questions, I was surprised at all the complications that my midwife said, "I've never see that, because I don't do _____ (which would cause the complication)." What I found out is that many complications are actually caused by the hospital's interventions! For example, pitocin. Many, many women receive this, either to induce labor or to augment labor. What they may NOT tell you is that it makes your contractions much stronger, longer, and closer together than what your body would naturally produce. This often causes fetal distress in a baby who would otherwise tolerate labor well. Fetal distress is a common cause of caesarian delivery. Also, once you receive pitocin, you may have a difficult time tolerating the contractions and ask for an epidural. An epidural sounds like a great proposition on the surface - who wants to tolerate pain unnecessarily? However, while it may relieve your pain, your baby is still feeling the very strong contractions caused by the pitocin. What is more, an epidural numbs your body, mostly from the waist down, and will prevent you from being able to get up and move freely around the room, something that midwives know would help your baby wiggle into the best position to be born. So an unnecessary c-section may be performed. Thirdly, an epidural interferes with the pushing process. A woman may not be able to effectively push her baby out, causing the use of forceps, vacuum extraction (both can cause damage to baby's head/neck/spine) or a c-section. It also interferes with a woman's ability to feel what is going on while pushing. At a certain point, it is wise to stop pushing to allow the body to stretch and prevent tearing. However, many doctors do not support a woman's body in order to prevent tears, and may actually perform episiotomies that could have been prevented had they just known what to do! How much easier recovery is when there are no tears! I've only once had a small tear - with our first son - a superficial tear that healed without stitches. Our last two births have been without tears, including our 9 lb., posterior, acynclitic Faith! I've heard some women tell me their doctors told them they were "too small" or that their babies were "too big", but I think their doctors just lacked the patience and knowledge that many midwives have in regard to preventing tears. So, while an epidural may provide some temporary relief during labor, I think the tearing/episiotomies that accompany them may not really be worth it!
Concerning pain & long labors, I have a few thoughts. Our pastor just preached last week about how suffering and the will of God are not mutually exclusive. That means that sometimes, God allows suffering to build much needed character in our lives and to bring glory to Him. Just because we are suffering does not mean that we have done something wrong! I believe labor is a spiritual experience. It takes a lot of faith to believe that that baby is going to come out the way that God has designed it. It takes surrender to accept the things about birth that are beyond our control (including the interventions that ARE sometimes needed). And it takes humility to ask for God's strength to do things that we know we couldn't do otherwise, without His help! So, while I'm very much hoping that one of these days, I will have one of those quick and easy labors (Ok, like any labor is easy?), I accept the fact that a long labor may the process that God wants me to go through in order to teach me something I need to learn. Unlike in a hospital, midwives also accept the fact that sometimes labors need to be long in order to get the baby out. And long labors can happen with any size baby! Jude was only 7 lb. 12 oz. and his labor was my longest. Faith, at 9 lbs. was my second longest labor, and Seth was by far the shortest of all, and he was only 1 oz. smaller than Jude!
I have to blog in spurts these days, as most moms understand, so I hope to continue this in a later post.....
Is a home birth really safe? I think this is the question that is on the forefront of every couple's mind. Everyone wants to make sure that their baby will be safe! The short answer is "Yes! A homebirth is safe!" Statistically a home birth is as safe or safer than a hospital birth, for healthy, low risk women. When I was interviewing my midwife years ago, and asking her a billion questions, I was surprised at all the complications that my midwife said, "I've never see that, because I don't do _____ (which would cause the complication)." What I found out is that many complications are actually caused by the hospital's interventions! For example, pitocin. Many, many women receive this, either to induce labor or to augment labor. What they may NOT tell you is that it makes your contractions much stronger, longer, and closer together than what your body would naturally produce. This often causes fetal distress in a baby who would otherwise tolerate labor well. Fetal distress is a common cause of caesarian delivery. Also, once you receive pitocin, you may have a difficult time tolerating the contractions and ask for an epidural. An epidural sounds like a great proposition on the surface - who wants to tolerate pain unnecessarily? However, while it may relieve your pain, your baby is still feeling the very strong contractions caused by the pitocin. What is more, an epidural numbs your body, mostly from the waist down, and will prevent you from being able to get up and move freely around the room, something that midwives know would help your baby wiggle into the best position to be born. So an unnecessary c-section may be performed. Thirdly, an epidural interferes with the pushing process. A woman may not be able to effectively push her baby out, causing the use of forceps, vacuum extraction (both can cause damage to baby's head/neck/spine) or a c-section. It also interferes with a woman's ability to feel what is going on while pushing. At a certain point, it is wise to stop pushing to allow the body to stretch and prevent tearing. However, many doctors do not support a woman's body in order to prevent tears, and may actually perform episiotomies that could have been prevented had they just known what to do! How much easier recovery is when there are no tears! I've only once had a small tear - with our first son - a superficial tear that healed without stitches. Our last two births have been without tears, including our 9 lb., posterior, acynclitic Faith! I've heard some women tell me their doctors told them they were "too small" or that their babies were "too big", but I think their doctors just lacked the patience and knowledge that many midwives have in regard to preventing tears. So, while an epidural may provide some temporary relief during labor, I think the tearing/episiotomies that accompany them may not really be worth it!
Concerning pain & long labors, I have a few thoughts. Our pastor just preached last week about how suffering and the will of God are not mutually exclusive. That means that sometimes, God allows suffering to build much needed character in our lives and to bring glory to Him. Just because we are suffering does not mean that we have done something wrong! I believe labor is a spiritual experience. It takes a lot of faith to believe that that baby is going to come out the way that God has designed it. It takes surrender to accept the things about birth that are beyond our control (including the interventions that ARE sometimes needed). And it takes humility to ask for God's strength to do things that we know we couldn't do otherwise, without His help! So, while I'm very much hoping that one of these days, I will have one of those quick and easy labors (Ok, like any labor is easy?), I accept the fact that a long labor may the process that God wants me to go through in order to teach me something I need to learn. Unlike in a hospital, midwives also accept the fact that sometimes labors need to be long in order to get the baby out. And long labors can happen with any size baby! Jude was only 7 lb. 12 oz. and his labor was my longest. Faith, at 9 lbs. was my second longest labor, and Seth was by far the shortest of all, and he was only 1 oz. smaller than Jude!
I have to blog in spurts these days, as most moms understand, so I hope to continue this in a later post.....
Friday, March 25, 2011
Countdown to Baby: the Preparations Begin
We now have about 4 1/2 weeks until the due date, and boy, has this pregnancy gone by fast! Getting two homes ready, homeschooling, and otherwise raising 3 children probably has something to do with it. ;)
Before we came out to the property this week, I must be honest, I did NOT want to come! Not that I don't love coming out here - it's so peaceful and just fun to dream about when we will actually live here. But all the packing and preparing to come, and the fact that I want to be "nesting" at our current home all factored into my reluctance. However, before we came I insisted on bringing a birth kit, even though it was hastily assembled. I did not want to be out here without the needed supplies should I actually go into labor early. We had to get boxes of newborn clothes down from the attic, look for newborn sized cloth diapers from our stash, and we even had to buy some sheets and mattress covers, since we'd gotten a bigger bed in between now and when Faith was born. Our mail-ordered birth supplies arrived super fast, so we were able to have those available as well. But now, I look forward to getting home and actually washing all the linens and organizing the new baby's clothes. In the past we've just put girl, boy, and neutral things in the drawers, and which ever gender we DON'T have, we put back in the attic shortly after the baby is born. Some people say they are too much of a planner to NOT find out the gender of the baby, but, hey, I'm a planner, too - I just plan in a different way! We have everything we need for both genders, acquired inexpensively through garage sales and thrift stores, so it's fun to go through it all and dream about it being either a boy or a girl. I always get this urge to knit something for the baby when I'm pregnant, and last pregnancy, I knitted a hat for a girl, and a whole set (hat, booties, blanket) for a boy. This pregnancy, I think I'm going to use up my pink cotton yarn and knit a new girl blanket. If I have time. We'll see.
I also intend on making and freezing some meals for after the baby is born. We've always had people bring us meals in the past, but I like to be prepared in case people aren't able to do that. And just to have a longer time of not HAVING to cook after the baby is born.
I always seem to go into labor at night, and my greatest wish THEN is that I'd had more sleep. So I've decided that I will forego any preparations that do not allow me to take a nap every day from now until baby comes! Seth is never a problem with taking naps, and if Faith has already had her nap for the day, then Jude is always good about watching her for me so that I can sleep. That is such a blessing!
Speaking of the children, they are also very excited to see this baby. Just tonight, Jude said, "I wish we could just see the baby tonight!" And yesterday when I went to see the midwife, when she gave Seth a sticker, Seth put it on my belly and said it was for the baby. Faith pats my tummy and says, "Baby", and sometimes pats HER tummy and says, "Baby." We'll have to work on that one. :)
This will probably be our last visit here before the baby is born, so it is bittersweet. But I'll be glad to be at whatever home is "home" for now, so that we can get ready for this baby's arrival.
Oh, as for names: Levi for a boy, Hope for a girl. Suggestions on middle names, anyone?
Before we came out to the property this week, I must be honest, I did NOT want to come! Not that I don't love coming out here - it's so peaceful and just fun to dream about when we will actually live here. But all the packing and preparing to come, and the fact that I want to be "nesting" at our current home all factored into my reluctance. However, before we came I insisted on bringing a birth kit, even though it was hastily assembled. I did not want to be out here without the needed supplies should I actually go into labor early. We had to get boxes of newborn clothes down from the attic, look for newborn sized cloth diapers from our stash, and we even had to buy some sheets and mattress covers, since we'd gotten a bigger bed in between now and when Faith was born. Our mail-ordered birth supplies arrived super fast, so we were able to have those available as well. But now, I look forward to getting home and actually washing all the linens and organizing the new baby's clothes. In the past we've just put girl, boy, and neutral things in the drawers, and which ever gender we DON'T have, we put back in the attic shortly after the baby is born. Some people say they are too much of a planner to NOT find out the gender of the baby, but, hey, I'm a planner, too - I just plan in a different way! We have everything we need for both genders, acquired inexpensively through garage sales and thrift stores, so it's fun to go through it all and dream about it being either a boy or a girl. I always get this urge to knit something for the baby when I'm pregnant, and last pregnancy, I knitted a hat for a girl, and a whole set (hat, booties, blanket) for a boy. This pregnancy, I think I'm going to use up my pink cotton yarn and knit a new girl blanket. If I have time. We'll see.
I also intend on making and freezing some meals for after the baby is born. We've always had people bring us meals in the past, but I like to be prepared in case people aren't able to do that. And just to have a longer time of not HAVING to cook after the baby is born.
I always seem to go into labor at night, and my greatest wish THEN is that I'd had more sleep. So I've decided that I will forego any preparations that do not allow me to take a nap every day from now until baby comes! Seth is never a problem with taking naps, and if Faith has already had her nap for the day, then Jude is always good about watching her for me so that I can sleep. That is such a blessing!
Speaking of the children, they are also very excited to see this baby. Just tonight, Jude said, "I wish we could just see the baby tonight!" And yesterday when I went to see the midwife, when she gave Seth a sticker, Seth put it on my belly and said it was for the baby. Faith pats my tummy and says, "Baby", and sometimes pats HER tummy and says, "Baby." We'll have to work on that one. :)
This will probably be our last visit here before the baby is born, so it is bittersweet. But I'll be glad to be at whatever home is "home" for now, so that we can get ready for this baby's arrival.
Oh, as for names: Levi for a boy, Hope for a girl. Suggestions on middle names, anyone?
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Things to say (and NOT to say) to a pregnant woman
A couple of days from now marks one month away from my "due date", and apparently a new, yet familiar phase has arrived. The time in my pregnancy where I almost dread appearing in public because of the many unwelcome comments from strangers (and even people that I do know). I realize that many of the comments are made in ignorance - not to intentionally hurt or spoil the fun of my pregnancy and soon-to-arrive precious baby - but they hurt, nonetheless. So, I don't want my dear readers to make these same comments in ignorance. But first, here are some lovely comments that BLESS an expectant mother:
"Congrats on that sweet baby"
"You look beautiful (radiant, etc.)"
"I bet you can't wait to meet that little one"
"Oh, how exciting to be expecting another child!"
"Let me help you with that cart (or lift that child for you, or load your groceries, etc.)"
"Children are such a blessing, aren't they?"
And, of course, the not-so-helpful comments:
"You look like you are about to pop!"
"You must be past your due date."
"You'll never make it to your due date."
"Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
"Your baby is going to be HUGE."
"You're having ANOTHER one"
"Don't you know what causes that?"
"I hope you aren't having ANOTHER boy." (What is it with boys? I think they're great.)
"I was never THAT big/My baby was never that big, etc."
"Wow, she's fat!" (I'm pretty sure that's not nice to say to ANYONE!)
At the end of pregnancy, I always have some days that I come home crying, swearing that I won't leave the house again, because I've just heard one too many comments like these from people. Pregnancy is a blessed, unique, very special time in a woman's life. I enjoy being pregnant! Please don't spoil an expectant mother's fun; think carefully before you say something. Same goes for comments on newborns. I think "mom's " advice about, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" applies very well.
"Congrats on that sweet baby"
"You look beautiful (radiant, etc.)"
"I bet you can't wait to meet that little one"
"Oh, how exciting to be expecting another child!"
"Let me help you with that cart (or lift that child for you, or load your groceries, etc.)"
"Children are such a blessing, aren't they?"
And, of course, the not-so-helpful comments:
"You look like you are about to pop!"
"You must be past your due date."
"You'll never make it to your due date."
"Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
"Your baby is going to be HUGE."
"You're having ANOTHER one"
"Don't you know what causes that?"
"I hope you aren't having ANOTHER boy." (What is it with boys? I think they're great.)
"I was never THAT big/My baby was never that big, etc."
"Wow, she's fat!" (I'm pretty sure that's not nice to say to ANYONE!)
At the end of pregnancy, I always have some days that I come home crying, swearing that I won't leave the house again, because I've just heard one too many comments like these from people. Pregnancy is a blessed, unique, very special time in a woman's life. I enjoy being pregnant! Please don't spoil an expectant mother's fun; think carefully before you say something. Same goes for comments on newborns. I think "mom's " advice about, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" applies very well.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Now for our week at home
It's funny to call our current house "home" because, really, they are both home now. But that is where we are this week. I think we've figured out that a week here, then a week there, then back here for a week might be a good, less stressful, more productive system. I can plan a week's worth of meals, a weeks worth of clean laundry, and then we can stay somewhere long enough to get more accomplished. Well, that's the plan anyway.
I hope I don't bore everyone with details, but I'm also hoping that someone who may one day be in my shoes will benefit from my experience. So, here it goes...This week I planned to make more homecooked-from-scratch foods, since last time's experiment with all the packaged stuff failed. So, I found a store more than 30 minutes from the property that had organics. And I went shopping there. Definitely an option if I'm totally out of some things that aren't sold locally. And, aside from the whole "organic" thing, there are very basic foods in my cooking, like coconut oil, that organic or not, are just not available (except at this store)! I'm always amazed at the rows and rows of different brands of "vegetable oil", but the utter lack of true variety. At Wal-Mart, if I want something other than "vegetable oil", or olive oil, I am out of luck (at least at this one). What about sesame oil, peanut oil, coconut oil, flax oil, etc.? Anyhow, I digress. I also drove to the farm (about 30 minutes) which has milk and other milk products (yogurt, kefir, etc.), cheese, eggs, beef, chicken, and even things like salt, grains, etc. It is operated by a lovely Mennonite family who are so friendly, and we always have a good visit. I was able to test the limits of my little dorm fridge and get a reasonable amount of food in there for the week. Things went well this time: I didn't spend much time in the kitchen and I felt significantly better health-wise.
My productivity is waning, as is the list of jobs that I can actually help with now. However, I had HOPED to get the laundry room painted this week. I thought it was totally doable, since the laundry room is the size of a large closet. As I swept the floor after dinner one night, I realized that, once again, I would not get to paint that laundry room. I just had to give that desire up to God. I've started working off a list of priorities each day, to make sure that the most important things happen everyday, and I had done that this day, and the laundry room was not more important than educating the children, spending time talking with them, and making sure that everyone had healthy meals to eat. So, I went to bed in peace that night, knowing that I'd accomplished the important things, and that God would take care of the rest. I just kept thinking of the verse, "Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you." I saw it happen this week. I saw my two little boys dragging all the things, HEAVY things, that were stored in the laundry room, out to another room in preparation for painting. This was something I'd planned to do but just didn't have the energy, but they did it for me. When God says that children are a blessing and a reward, he means it! They really are. My children are doing for me things I cannot do right now in my big, pregnant state, and I am so thankful to them for that.
The week's agenda includes (starting Monday): the week off homeschool for the boys, and a big house sort/cleanout! Our current house is bigger than our trailer, so we have to prioritize and decide what we can really live without, and what we truly need. A big job. Hope I finish. Then, toward the end of the week: off to house #2. Pretty soon I will have to carry my birth kit in my van for "just in case". :)
I hope I don't bore everyone with details, but I'm also hoping that someone who may one day be in my shoes will benefit from my experience. So, here it goes...This week I planned to make more homecooked-from-scratch foods, since last time's experiment with all the packaged stuff failed. So, I found a store more than 30 minutes from the property that had organics. And I went shopping there. Definitely an option if I'm totally out of some things that aren't sold locally. And, aside from the whole "organic" thing, there are very basic foods in my cooking, like coconut oil, that organic or not, are just not available (except at this store)! I'm always amazed at the rows and rows of different brands of "vegetable oil", but the utter lack of true variety. At Wal-Mart, if I want something other than "vegetable oil", or olive oil, I am out of luck (at least at this one). What about sesame oil, peanut oil, coconut oil, flax oil, etc.? Anyhow, I digress. I also drove to the farm (about 30 minutes) which has milk and other milk products (yogurt, kefir, etc.), cheese, eggs, beef, chicken, and even things like salt, grains, etc. It is operated by a lovely Mennonite family who are so friendly, and we always have a good visit. I was able to test the limits of my little dorm fridge and get a reasonable amount of food in there for the week. Things went well this time: I didn't spend much time in the kitchen and I felt significantly better health-wise.
My productivity is waning, as is the list of jobs that I can actually help with now. However, I had HOPED to get the laundry room painted this week. I thought it was totally doable, since the laundry room is the size of a large closet. As I swept the floor after dinner one night, I realized that, once again, I would not get to paint that laundry room. I just had to give that desire up to God. I've started working off a list of priorities each day, to make sure that the most important things happen everyday, and I had done that this day, and the laundry room was not more important than educating the children, spending time talking with them, and making sure that everyone had healthy meals to eat. So, I went to bed in peace that night, knowing that I'd accomplished the important things, and that God would take care of the rest. I just kept thinking of the verse, "Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you." I saw it happen this week. I saw my two little boys dragging all the things, HEAVY things, that were stored in the laundry room, out to another room in preparation for painting. This was something I'd planned to do but just didn't have the energy, but they did it for me. When God says that children are a blessing and a reward, he means it! They really are. My children are doing for me things I cannot do right now in my big, pregnant state, and I am so thankful to them for that.
The week's agenda includes (starting Monday): the week off homeschool for the boys, and a big house sort/cleanout! Our current house is bigger than our trailer, so we have to prioritize and decide what we can really live without, and what we truly need. A big job. Hope I finish. Then, toward the end of the week: off to house #2. Pretty soon I will have to carry my birth kit in my van for "just in case". :)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Preparing to Stay Again
I enjoy going to stay out at the property, and I also like being at our current home. But I don't like packing and preparing to go to either place! It is exhausting. It is like we are packing for vacation - but we do it every week, sometimes twice a week! And it's not like I can make a list and that will be my once-for-all packing list, because things are always changing. We're always thinking of things that need to go to one place or the other. And finding things that didn't work last time that we need to change for this time.
Aside from all that, it really is FUN to get to go! We get to, little by little, fix things up how we want them, without too much pressure. I get to contemplate where I want to put each thing, and design how I want to configure the closets, etc. I was telling Jeremy, though, that I wish we could move things to the new place one room or one little bit at a time instead of moving the whole house at once! I just remember moving day to this house, where we had lots of boxes of STUFF that we just had to find a place for or else step over them constantly. Not a lot of time to decide where to put things, or if it was actually WORTH it to KEEP certain things. I think I'd rather have my house clean and tidy and easy to keep that way (everything has a PLACE and not too many things trying to be shoved all in one too-small place - like they seem to be now).
Along those lines, I have been noticing for a while that the boys are having a hard time keeping their toys put away and sorted into proper bins, etc. So, I just dumped a whole bunch of toys into a box, put them in the garage (after reassuring them I wasn't actually getting rid of them), and decided to let them play with what's left. I have a theory that they will be happier because 1) They don't have to listen to me constantly telling them to pick up toys, 2) They don't have the frustration of trying to put too many toys back into spaces that are too small (I can relate to their frustration) and 3) They can appreciate and find the toys that are left, that they possibly couldn't even FIND before. What I really want to do is clear their room of all toys and only put back ONE box of toys (like trains). When they manage that well, I'd add another box, until they reach the point of being unable to maintain it all, then I'd take it back a step. It's nice at the property because they only have one big tupperware container of toys. When I say, "Clean up" they know that all toys go in that box. Finding parts that go with each other is easy enough because the box of toys isn't that big. And they aren't any less happy with life out there, nor do they bemoan the fact that a certain toy isn't at the trailer. That's why I think my theory will work. :)
I also love how I only acquire things at the trailer once I've seen an actual NEED for them. I think I've discussed this before, but I think it bears repeating: it is so freeing to know that everything in your house is there because you have RIGHT NOW found a specific purpose that nothing else could serve. I think in our homes we acquire things that people give us, or things that "might be useful someday" or that we "paid good money for, so I can't throw it out" without even realizing that we really would be happier just giving it away. Oh the people we could serve, the things that we could do for God that would REALLY count for eternity, if our lives weren't spent shopping for things, storing, repairing, and organizing things, and eventually deciding to part with things. I'll try to remember that the next time I want to buy something.....
Aside from all that, it really is FUN to get to go! We get to, little by little, fix things up how we want them, without too much pressure. I get to contemplate where I want to put each thing, and design how I want to configure the closets, etc. I was telling Jeremy, though, that I wish we could move things to the new place one room or one little bit at a time instead of moving the whole house at once! I just remember moving day to this house, where we had lots of boxes of STUFF that we just had to find a place for or else step over them constantly. Not a lot of time to decide where to put things, or if it was actually WORTH it to KEEP certain things. I think I'd rather have my house clean and tidy and easy to keep that way (everything has a PLACE and not too many things trying to be shoved all in one too-small place - like they seem to be now).
Along those lines, I have been noticing for a while that the boys are having a hard time keeping their toys put away and sorted into proper bins, etc. So, I just dumped a whole bunch of toys into a box, put them in the garage (after reassuring them I wasn't actually getting rid of them), and decided to let them play with what's left. I have a theory that they will be happier because 1) They don't have to listen to me constantly telling them to pick up toys, 2) They don't have the frustration of trying to put too many toys back into spaces that are too small (I can relate to their frustration) and 3) They can appreciate and find the toys that are left, that they possibly couldn't even FIND before. What I really want to do is clear their room of all toys and only put back ONE box of toys (like trains). When they manage that well, I'd add another box, until they reach the point of being unable to maintain it all, then I'd take it back a step. It's nice at the property because they only have one big tupperware container of toys. When I say, "Clean up" they know that all toys go in that box. Finding parts that go with each other is easy enough because the box of toys isn't that big. And they aren't any less happy with life out there, nor do they bemoan the fact that a certain toy isn't at the trailer. That's why I think my theory will work. :)
I also love how I only acquire things at the trailer once I've seen an actual NEED for them. I think I've discussed this before, but I think it bears repeating: it is so freeing to know that everything in your house is there because you have RIGHT NOW found a specific purpose that nothing else could serve. I think in our homes we acquire things that people give us, or things that "might be useful someday" or that we "paid good money for, so I can't throw it out" without even realizing that we really would be happier just giving it away. Oh the people we could serve, the things that we could do for God that would REALLY count for eternity, if our lives weren't spent shopping for things, storing, repairing, and organizing things, and eventually deciding to part with things. I'll try to remember that the next time I want to buy something.....
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